True name

I think to find out what is most important to you and your purpose, you have to ask yourself; what would I be most offended by in the gap of this sentence?

He/she is ______________ than you.

What would probably immediately spring to mind is either the word 'better' or 'prettier', as those are the most common uses. But what would leave you feeling affronted and annoyed? What do you pride yourself upon?

This thinking was brought about by me finishing the last book in the 'Inheritance Cycle', or 'Eragon series'. I have absolutely loved these books and will surely go into more detail about them at a later date. But in these stories, there is the idea of a 'true name', that is also found in Egyptian mythology, that each of us and everything has. It is a word, phrase or passage (depending on your complexity) in the ancient language which represents your wants, loves, hates, mistakes, attributes and weaknesses. And anyone who has read these books will know that you cannot tell but the truth in the ancient language, so these names are the bare and honest truth of yourself. When spoken, your body would tremour with this deeper truth, and anyone who knows your true name can manipulate and control you, so you would only tell it to those who you trust most, if anyone at all.

It has complete control of you when spoken, because it is you.

Would you want to know your true name? All of your pitfalls and failures made clear, all of the darkest and worst parts of yourself aired, as well as the good. What would you want to change about yourself before you heard your true name? As, just as we can, true names can alter if the alteration is significant, honest and true.

I don't think I would like to hear mine yet. I am selfish and still hold some of the material obsessions that I have let creep onto me in the past few months. I am not brave and I am not entirely honest, I am self-conscious and shy yet over-confident and arrogant at the same time. I'm not proud of it but it's true. I'm not the person I want to be yet. I am working to improve myself, as well as redeem the parts of me that I have lost. I am not who I am yet, and I would not like to hear everything about myself until I am sure I am myself.

Honestly, I don't really know who I am at all, but few know themselves. Is it our right that we should know who we are or are we meant to not understand?

Maybe I will come back and edit this post and add what would be in the space of that sentence for me. Because I do know what it is. But I don't know if I want to share it. I'll tell you this though, it's not 'prettier', because my priorities are a little better than that. Finally.