Schokolade

Disembodied

Walking along my road in darkness, my earphones playing music loud enough so I'm unable to hear my shoes touch to the tarmac, but not so loud that I can't hear the wind disrupting the overhanging branches. The streetlights so sparse that in between them there is almost no light, except the reflection of the previous in the rainwater that is glazing the ground. I'm wearing a coat and a scarf, but the bare skin on my hands and face is prickling in the bitter air.

Timing my strides to the drum beats of the songs, unable to hear my feet making contact, the amber reflections seemingly swirling through my squinting eyes. I start to lose grasp of where I am and what I am. I am so full of adrenaline that walking takes no effort, I feel like I'm floating across the ground; the ground which is spinning and swirling like gold glitter being blown around in water.

The volume of the song is so comfortable that I close my eyes and for a time none of my senses are alerting me to where I am or if I am. I feel like I could be in space. I feel like I am in the song. I feel so at peace and out of body.

It doesn't last for long, but the moment was a euphoria and a relief.

What is it that reminds us we're 'here'?

5 am club

I seem to be a regular attendant and I don't know why.
What the hell am I worrying about?

Before I woke up the subject of my dreams were fairly relevant for once. Nothing dodgy to report. They normally don't make sense, but tonight I simply dreamt about what I was thinking about. A rare event. Deserves to be documented.

December, already?!

I've been pretty busy this past month and a half and haven't really had chance to post or reset the password I'm always forgetting.

I'll sum up what's going on and what I'm happy about;

• I have sent off my UCAS and got four University offers so far! I'm really happy about that
• I'm still driving and I passed my theory test in November, woo!
• Blink-182 are headlining Reading and Leeds!
• Game of Thrones Series 3 has started showing on the tele so I can finally find out what happens
• I went in a limo for the first time for Amy's 18th!
• I finally got a new coat
• I also got a cold :(
• I got the English Language and Psychology awards at sixth form. I'm not bragging (honest!), I'm just happy that someone thinks I'm doing good!
• I had a Big Beef Melt at Subway and it was so tasty! Damn!

What's happening with you guys?

I've changed the blog again - it made my eyes hurt a bit how it was. It looks kinda retro now.

Halloween!!

I LOVE Halloween. Love it!

I love the decorations, and the colours, and the eerie excitement of the whole event.

I remember being in Whitby for Halloween one year, and it made me fall in love with it even more. The abbey, perched on top of the hill, subtly observing all of the incredible costumes and body art, and the market stalls piled high with pumpkins on the characterful storefronts next the bay. Trailing up the twisting alleyways of shops; I found one with elaborate gothic and Steampunk outfits hung high upon the walls, Directions hair dyes shelved in colour order, and intricate jewellery and lace displayed in glass cabinets - I was fascinated!

Ever since that holiday to Whitby I have become even more excited by Halloween and everything that comes with it. It is the time of year you can question-lessly fancy dress and can watch Tim Burton films all round the clock!

Halloween comes from 'All Hallows Eve', or 'All Hallows Even' in Scottish, which is the night in which older branches of Christianity (mainly Celtic) and some Pagan faiths worshiped and prayed for the dead. It has gradually become unattached to this religious origin and is now just an excuse for a party and some face paint - I'm not complaining.

My favourite part is deciding on a costume, and then putting it together. I get so much fun out of it and really wish there was more celebrations where you could do it. I love deciding on a character and then figuring out how you are going to pull it off. I especially like it when people take a more artsy take on it;

 Or funny;

More Halloween tomorrow!

York and Halloween

I went to York yesterday with my Mum and Grandma, and I'd completely forgotten how wonderful a city it is.

The overhanging upper floors and 16th Century style
of the Shambles is just so endearing, I could spend all day wandering up and down the pretty streets - and that's exactly what we did!

There was a culture market in one of the squares, and one stall was a Native American man, and a girl who was possibly his daughter,  selling really beautiful pendants, rocks, bracelets and dreamcatchers. "For you." he said, as he thrust two pieces of char into my palm, a pink one and a yellow one, repeating "Mak a squar" whilst placing 4 'jigsaw pieces' in front of me; after 15 minutes and him even showing me an example, I just really couldn't do it! It was really hard, I swear!

After this, we went on a search to find Betty's Tea Room amongst the narrow streets. Finding the smaller one first, we stood in line for 20 minutes before my Mother and Grandma decided they wanted to go to the bigger one, which was just around the corner, and had a 2 hour queue. We decided it looked pretty dingy, and anyway, who wants to spend £20 per head on afternoon tea? So we went to a hog roast shop - spotted  by me, of course - for Hot Pork rolls, which were divine, and much more down my alley (if you'll pardon the York pun) than cakes on a silver stand. The shop had this sign on the door which I loved.

Near the minster, was a book shop in one of the typical terraced shops. Inside, there was 6 levels (which were very narrow and small, with uneven floorboards), of old books. The smell was amazing, and I found the Fantasy and Folklore section in the basement, where I spent a good 45 minutes deciding what to take with me.

I decided on 'The Dragonbone Chair' by Tad Williams, 'The Daughter of the Empire' by Raymond E. Feist and Janny Wurts, and 'Darkspell' by Katherine Kerr. All of which were the original covers, which I'm really happy about - because the illustrations were so incredible!

Across from the Hot Pork roll shop (mmmm), was a Wiccan/Magic shop with a haunted house in the back! Unfortunately, my Mum and Grandma both refused to go into the back with me - and I was too scared to go on my own - so I bought a £3 parcel out of the lucky dip chest instead, which had three gemstones in it! The shop itself was really cool; it was round, the walls had been painted a deep purple, and, what I assume were the original beams, exposed and varnished dark brown. There were stands for the products made out of a tree stumps, and lantern-style lights giving it an awesome atmosphere. Plus both the owners/employees were Steampunk and the most wonderfully cheerful people! There were bottles of homemade solution on the shelves that did real things - they all had colouring in them to make them cool colours - like real magic! How exciting!

I'd only seen the clothes shop Yumi online on Asos and the like, but there was one on the high street! Everything is so cute in there, there was a cardigan with owls embroidered onto it, which was so adorable! There was nothing in the shop I really wanted to spend that much money on, as it's not the cheapest place in the world, but is still pretty reasonable for how well-made everything seems to be. But when I got home I saw a blouse in the sale on their website which I bought - I almost made it out unspent!

Saying that though, I only spent a grand old total of £8 in York, and another £8 on the blouse online, which is pretty impressive (for me) as I get so distracted by the unique lit
tle shops in places like this. I love the city, and I did consider it for University, but I think visiting there once in a while is still special.

Oh! I also dyed my hair ginger again for my Halloween costume, although it doesn't show up great with flash, it is quite surprisingly orange in the sunlight!

 Thank you for reading!

The Elder Scrolls Online

 

'It is a time of strife and unrest. Armies of revenants and dark spirits manifest in every corner of Tamriel. Winters grow colder and crops fail. Mystics are plagued by nightmares and portents of doom. 

Four years ago, in 2E 578, an arcane explosion of energy in the Imperial City set off mystical aftershocks that swept across Nirn. Mages died or went mad. Supernatural abominations from the plane of Oblivion, the Daedra, appeared in greater numbers than ever before. The constellation of the Serpent grew so large that it dominated the night sky.

So began the grand scheme of Molag Bal, Daedric Prince of domination and enslavement. His Dark Anchors, vortexes of evil magic, weaken the barrier between worlds, threatening to merge Nirn and Oblivion into a single, nightmarish hellscape.

In the midst of this chaos, three alliances vie for control of the Imperial City and the White-Gold Tower. High Rock, Sentinel, and Orsinium stand as one, united under the rule of the High King in Wayrest. Valenwood and Elsweyr have forged an alliance of their own with Summerset, while Black Marsh, Morrowind, and Skyrim have formed a third, uneasy pact.

The Daggerfall Covenant. The Aldmeri Dominion. The Ebonheart Pact.

Three armies will take up arms against the Empire, and against each other, to wrest control of the Imperial City and White-Gold Tower from the dark forces of Oblivion itself.

Where do your loyalties lie?'

Okay. I'm just gonna say it. It looks AMAZING.

My god I am so excited, I have signed up for Beta testing and I hope to the heavens that I get the chance to try it before it is properly released next Spring.

The game is set 1000 years before Skyrim, and, like everyone had hoped, right across Tamriel. Everything that I thought was missing from Skyrim has been added. Seriously!

•  You can now make meals and other concoctions from food and ingredients you collect. No more pointless bread loaves in your inventory. This is going to be a really cool part of the game I think.
• Character creation is SO much more detailed. You can change all the weights and proportions of your character, as well as having much more choice of hairstyles, tattoos and colours. Plus, the face customisation has been taken into even more depth; you can use a triangular slider to make your characters' face seem 'herioc', 'soft' or 'angular', which sounds great!
• There are new 'gathering and exploration' features. There are of course, chests and barrels etc that have items in them. Books to find.You can craft and make new things. There are these stone things that are dotted around the world that will give you new powers, and Skyshards that increase your skills. Like the word walls in Skyrim I imagine.
• You can compete in fishing with other players!
• You can explore the whole of Tamriel. Skyrim, Oblivion and Morrowind have been kept the same (or very similar) as how they appear in the previous Elder Scrolls games, gotta love continuity.
• The combat features are in more depth, with new options for attacking and defending.
• Every player is on a single 'megaserver', which is incredible, and will make it so much better.
• There's loads more. But, one last point. It is so beautiful;

 

 In game, you will have to choose to belong to one of three clans attempting to take control of the Imperial City, which will be based on your choice of race from 9 options;

Basically, the high elves, wood elves and khajits have joined together to create the Aldmeri Dominion, lead by Queen Ayrenn of Summerset Isle. This clan believes that the human races are too young and naive to control the empire.

The Ebonheart Pact is made up of the Nords, Dark Elves and Argonians; all previous enemies. Fighting for stability and the chance to rule themselves.

The Bretons, Redquards and Orcs have combined to become the Daggerfall Convenent. A mixture of talents but with one common cause - the return of the Second Empire.

There is so much more to this game than I have just described, but, already, it sounds truly fantastic. I am so excited. It is everything I had hoped it would be. I can't wait!

National Novel Writing Month

Starting on the 1st of November, the National Novel Writing Month - or NaNoWriMo- is a fundraising event in which writing enthusiasts attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in a single month.

This year, I'm gonna try and do it too! I have no idea what I'm going to write about yet, but I'm pretty excited, it's such a cool thing to do! Anyway, if you wanna follow what I'm writing, my 'page' is http://nanowrimo.org/participants/harrowfoot. Thanks guys.

Sincere

Today, I finished reading a book and near the end there was a really nice bit that I just wanna share;

'He said, "The moment I began to love you was the moment when you saw your fiddle smashed on the ground, and you turned away from me and cried against your horse. Your sadness is one of the things that makes you beautiful to me. Don't you see that? I understand it. It makes my own sadness less frightening."
"Oh," she said, not following every word, but comprehending the feeling, and knowing all at once the difference between Brigan and the people who built her a bridge. She rested her face against his shirt. "I understand your sadness, too."
"I know you do," he said. "I thank you for it."'

I just thought it was lovely and sincere and I liked it.

Bowling For Soup

Me and Holly went to see Bowling for Soup last night and it was just the most incredible thing ever. It's such a unique feeling to be in a crowd of people who all love what is happening as much as you, singing the words together and seeing the people you watch on the tele right in front of your eyes.

From singing 'High School Never Ends' in Year 9 and assigning someone in our friendship group to all of the different names mentioned, to having the band right in front of my eyes, breathing the same air, under the same roof. It's all so strange and overwhelming, but so wonderful!

The fact that it will never happen again - due to it being their Farewell UK tour and no festivals offering the intimacy of a gig like that - made it even more special. It almost seemed like the perfect 'farewell' to the girl in me that did her real growing up listening to their songs, I woke up this morning feeling old (literally - I ache beyond repair) like the stage of my life their music represents has been put to bed, I've gotta grow up now and be serious - at least until I get a place at University.

Don't get me wrong, I will never, ever stop loving music like that. There's nothing like a pop-punky song that you can't help but grin too. But, it was their Farewell UK Tour, it can't help but be the end of an era. For them. For me.

Anyone reading this who knows me will know how much I hate change. I feel sick with fright right now, but recently I've learnt to just shut up and get on with it. I'm not as confident about it as I sound, trust me! But I'm just gonna have to be brave!

Surprise myself

Do you think that what we want from people changes?
At one point the perfect 'mate' is someone who you think is gorgeous and funny. And suddenly, you want serious attributes? Someone who is ambitious and level-headed, who can ground you and look after you? Whilst still understanding where you are coming from. Is this just survival instincts kicking in? Is this me feeling maternal? Good heavens I hope it's not. I'm quite content being the baby-hating woman I am for some time yet.

It's odd how everything about you seems to change. Maybe your basic principles, what you think is right and wrong and what you really love, stay the same. I don't know. When do we stop changing? When will I feel secure in myself and who I am? Do we ever?

It's so hard to choose now how you want your life to plan out. Why should a seventeen year old girl be building the foundation of a metaphorical house - that is the rest of her life. I should not be mixing no cement. I should be tending the garden or something.

What I'm trying to say is; tomorrow I have the opportunity to hand in a UCAS application that - if I go through with it in the end - will shape the next (at least) 3 years of my life. I really hope I'm making the right decision and won't regret what I choose.

Saying this, I feel pretty confident about the whole thing. I have never felt more strongly that I am making the right decision and I am doing something that is going to be awesome for me. As sad as it seems, I feel that I will hit a dead end soon, I feel like I've exhausted the possibilities for myself here, and I need to throw myself in the deep end and try and keep afloat, instead of holding onto the edges of the pool.

I am excited to live in a whole different world. I am going to promise myself right now that I will make something of myself and do things that I will look back at and be proud of. Cheesy BUT it's about time I started thinking on a bigger level. It's a big world out there, I wanna try as much of it as I can.

I want to surprise myself a bit more.

Rain

Winter is on it's way. 

There always seems to be this bleak, wet period before the Autumnal colours and Christmas decorations.
I think it's pretty, rain makes everything look glossy and clean. It's like the weather is preparing for the start of a new season; washing away the last of the sticky pollens and fruits from the Summer, and providing the perfect blank canvas for the fiery leaves and holly berries to enter to.

 

(Photos took from my bedroom window)

PUMPED

I feel like I'm working towards some bigger purpose at the minute. That is something I've never felt before, because I've never known where I wanted to be before. I have this massive sense of ambition (I know RIGHT?!), and I know it's gonna feel so great if I actually pull it off. I feel pretty relaxed right now, but I know it's gonna get harder, so I'm going to take it day by day and just see how things work out!

For the first time in my life I think I know what I'm doing!! Woo!

(So I drew this) (And the song makes me feel PUMPED)

If You Leave

'If You Leave' is an online and physical publication displaying the work of various artists in a book format, showing 'the mysterious yet uncannily peaceful feeling of desolation and loneliness'. Which I think is a really interesting subject, one that I often find myself thinking about.

I just think all the photos are so mystical and powerful, whilst at the same time being vague and not quite there at all. You can view all the photos separately, as well as links to the original artists, at http://www.if-you-leave.tumblr.com. I just wanted to share this because I love it so much, and I love the way it has been published and displayed. Thanks for reading!

Castles

Inspired by the architecture I saw in Lincoln during the Open Day last Saturday (and because I am poorly and bored), I wanted to make a list of my favourite castles in the world. They are a fantasy icon, and not to mention really, really cool.

10. Burg Hohenwerfen Castle - Austria

9. Malbork Castle - Poland - the biggest brick building in Europe!

8. Schwerin Castle - Germany

  

7.  Bran Castle - Romania - The Dracula Castle

 

 

6.Alcazar of Segovia - Spain

5. Lichtenstein Castle - Germany - in English means 'Light Stone' Castle.

4. Hohenzollern Castle - Germany

3. Chateau de Chillon or Chillon Castle - Switzerland

2. Eilean Donan Castle - Scotland

 

1. Schloss Neuschwanstein or Neuschwanstein Castle - Germany - it just had to be this one!